Where's Youppi?

I'm stealing this one from Todd Zolecki's blog. The Phanatic is the best mascot in sports, according to some marketing survey.

Now, I have warmed up to the Phanatic in my time in the Philly area. That's saying a lot. I don't approve of baseball mascots. I once came up swinging at Boomer, some dinosaur-ish mascot of the AA Trenton Thunder, when he took my hat. {It was not swinging. It was hilarious confusion as Greg grabbed for his hat.}

But there's two problems with the list. 1) No mention of the mascot formerly known as Youppi, whom the Expos dumped off on some hockey team when they moved to Washington. 2) Where's Wally, the Green Monster?

This being a blog about the Red Sox and Phillies, we need a tale of the tape between the Phanatic and the giant green wall, who I've just learned also has a blog that hasn't been updated since before he left for Cleveland. In 2006.

Height: Phanatic's 6'6"; Wally's "Big"

Weight: Phanatic's 300 pounds (mostly fat), waist 90 inches; Wally doesn't like to say.

Have to give points for honesty here.

Favorite song: Phanatic's "Motown Philly" to Wally's "Dirty Water"

Huge edge to Wally.

Categories the Phanatic has on his online bio that Wally omits:

Eyes: White eyeballs, black pupils, purple eyelashes and blue eyebrows.

Skin: Bright green fur

Physical Attributes: Overweight, clumsy feet, extra long beak, extra-long curled up tongue, gawking neck and "slight" case of body odor

Birthplace: Galapagos Islands

Mom: Phoebe

Best Friend: Phyllis

Favorite Food: Cheesesteaks, soft pretzels, hoagies, scrapple and Tastykakes

Favorite Movie: Rocky

Greatest Moment: The parade down Broad Street after the Phillies won the 1980 World Series

Hobbies: Eating, reading, sleeping and cheering on the Phillies

Stupid stuff Wally lists:

MLB Debut: April 13, 1997

Bats: Right

Throws: Right

Resides: Green Monster, Fenway Park

Color: Green

Baseball team: Boston Red Sox

Vacation spot: Ft. Myers (every March)

I know, not even close. The Phanatic is original. Wally is a corporate knockoff designed for kids, and I don't know why. Wally arrived years before the Sox became ultra-trendy. But he was the first embarrassment (pink hats, Fever Pitch, Red Sox Nation membership cards, etc.).