YES (again)

Cue the Suzy Waldman dramatics.

Put the YES camera crews on call for an instant Yankeeography.

Have Howard Rubenstein draft a missive from George Steinbrenner. Um, too late for that one.

But I hope The Trentonian headline writers are feisty because Roger Clemens was indicted for lying to Congress. I know I shouldn't be so gleeful about my once-hero falling so far down, but I can't help myself. Besides, it couldn't happen to a bigger jerk.

See you in 30 years, Rocket.

Another item of note: Jarrod Saltalamacchia might have a staph infection. He's on the DL. That's the fourth Red Sox catcher to be disabled this season. Incredible.

Tonight's games: The Phillies and Red Sox tried to finish off sweeps of California teams, but the Giants beat the Phillies 5-2 and the Angels beat the Red Sox 7-2. That win saved the Angels the indignity of going 0-10 against the Sox this year.

Unwelcome return

I logged on thinking that Davey Lopes' comments about Chase Utley and his knee, and the Phillies' offensive explosion, would give me an excuse to downplay the return of Manny Ramirez to Fenway.

Nope.

An even bigger former Red Sox/roider/horse's ass stole my attention. Roger Clemens decided tonight would be a good night to catch a game in the Monster seats. What an ass. Doesn't he have a lawsuit to worry about?

The Globe reports that Manny was largely booed, but that there were some cheers and a video tribute to the former Red Sox slugger. He rewarded the appreciation by showing no acknowledgment. I probably would have neither cheered nor booed.

Manny aside, Felix Doubront won his big league debut despite giving up five runs (three earned) in five innings. The Red Sox beat the Dodgers 10-6 behind home runs by Manny's bud David Ortiz and former Dodgers Adrian Beltre and J.D. Drew. Former Phillies prospect Carlos Monasterios got shelled.

If you care (I don't) Manny was 1-5 with a run. Daniel Bard struck him out looking to end the game. {Greg cared so little that he stood up and cheered when Manny struck out.}

Phillies: Davey Lopes told Baseball Prospectus that Chase Utley has a knee injury, confirming much speculation. Utley denied it, but said he wouldn't ever say if he's injured:

Chase Utley said today he is a private person, so he probably would not admit if an injury affected his play.

Utley then said he is fine.

The Phillies said he is fine, too.

He looks fine tonight. Utley, who dismissed before the game that he has an injured right knee, singled and scored from first on a triple in the first inning, hit a three-run home run to right field in the second inning and made a fantastic diving catch in the third inning.

He also specifically refuted Lopes' comments:

"I think there's a little confusion and maybe a little bit of a difference of opinion with what Davey said," Utley said before the game. "In my opinion, an injury is something that keeps you off the field. When you play 162-games-plus over the course of the year you're going to have aches and pains. That's part of this game. That's part of being a baseball player. In my opinion there's no injury whatsoever."

In case you don't believe him - because he said he wouldn't admit if an injury affected his play - Chase was 2-5 tonight with two runs, four RBI and a home run. He was a big cog in what we hope is the official start of hittin' season as the Phillies beat the Twins 9-5. Ryan Howard was a bigger cog, going 4-4 with three runs, three RBI and two home runs, a triple and a double.

My last untainted memory of Roger the Red Sox

Until Andre Dawson ends the speculation and announces that he will enter the Hall of Fame as a Red Sox, people will wonder if he will wear a Cubs or Expos hat into Cooperstown. Seriously, I endorse Les Expos.

The topic recently prompted Rob Neyer to list which caps he thinks certain multi-team stars should wear. He said that, without a doubt, Roger Clemens should go in with a B on his head.

After all that has happened (and assuming they start voting in roiders), I'm not sure I would even want that anymore.

But it did give me the opportunity to revisit Aug. 17, 1996 - the day I was in the stands to see Clemens throw his last home shutout for the Red Sox.

I kept score, but I couldn't scan a copy because the scorecard boxes have diamonds on them, making the page hard to read. (I prefer empty boxes on my scorecards.)

I don't remember much except the experience of watching a seemingly washed-up Roger Clemens revert to The Rocket. He was dominant. The place was electric. And I was thrilled. Of course, the whole thing was probably fake.

Recently, I salvaged the program from that day. It touts Jeff Frye, Reggie Jefferson, Bill Haselman and Jose Malave as unsung stars of the 1996 Red Sox, which finished 82-80.

Other stars on that lackluster team included Mike Stanley, Mo Vaughn, Tim Naehring, John Valentin, Wil Cordero, Mike Greenwell, Jose Canseco and Troy O'Leary.

See, this is why I seldom criticize SoxandPhils management. I'll never forgot rosters like these.

To the right are some photos of the team. Without editorial comment, notice Vaughn, Canseco, Clemens, Tim Wakefield, Kevin Mitchell, Tom Gordon and Jamie Moyer.

Not included on this page - but we'll show him separately - is an ultimate SoxandPhil. One of two to be officially owned by this Web site: Healthcliff Slocumb "if you got 'em."

I won't get myself riled up by discussing why he is not in the Hall of Fame, but if, no, when he is inducted, what do you think - Red Sox or Phillies hat? Other than three years with the Cubs, he never spent more than two years in one place. He performed better as a Phillie, but had more saves as a Red Sox.

And I think he should get bonus credit for his impact on Red Sox history. Without him, there would be no Derek Lowe and Jason Varitek and therefore no trophy in 2004.

I know it won't happen, but Slocumb's induction speech would make me feel a lot happier than Clemens'.

Busy day in 10 clicks

Since I last posted:

• The Red Sox tied a record last night for wild pitches, and Tim Wakefield wasn't even pitching.


• Brett Myers wasn't pulled from last night's game for ineffectiveness, but for a hip injury that he's had for awhile. He may need surgery, which could end his Phillies career.


• Harry Kalas will be inducted to the Wall of Fame. It's such a no-brainer, but I hadn't thought about it before.


• Pedro Feliz might get his 2010 option picked up.


• This afternoon, the Red Sox beat the Twins 3-1 behind a good performance by Josh Beckett and switch-hit home runs by Jason Varitek, who managed the feat before getting ejected along with Terry Francona and two Twins.


• Someone with a vested interest read my book report post. More Roger Clemens posts can be found here. {Hi Rusty Hardin & Associates!}


• Our observation, not previously mentioned on the blog, that Charlie Manuel has lost weight has been confirmed.

Funny, this morning I thought that with an off-day for the Phillies and an afternoon tilt for the Red Sox that I would just write tonight about Todd Zolecki's Random stuff post. I still will.

Like many of our SoxandPhils readers, Zo says he is a fan of intro music. He noted that when Brad Lidge last pitched, he came out to the silly music for a scoreboard bobblehead race instead of Soldiers. I had wondered if they would keep playing that tune if his struggles persist. Lidge might have a similar thought:

"I was coming in to some circus music," Lidge said. "That's about right."

Another favorite silly Phillies thing for Christine and me is Sarge. Especially his hats. He's not only a fashion plate, but also a shrewd salesman:

Gary Matthews' hat collection is available at the Majestic Clubhouse Store, but I told him yesterday that I could not pull off the Sarge hat look. I just don't think I have the cool factor to do it. Sarge assured me that I did, which I thought was nice of him to say.

But then I remembered he's trying to sell hats. Why I oughta (shaking my fist in the air) ...

Final note: I'm always bummed when the Phillies aren't on, especially after a long bad day at work. But the Spelling Bee finals will substitute nicely tonight.

Semi-completed book report

Whenever I get the chance to read during my lunch hour, I've been enjoying Jeff Pearlman's The Rocket that Fell to Earth, a birthday gift from Christine.

It's quite different from the last Roger Clemens book I read - Rocket Man: The Roger Clemens Story, written by Clemens with Peter Gammons.

In fact, a lot of the current book points out inaccuracies in Clemens' "autobiography," such as claims he was offered a D-1 scholarship and was drafted by the Twins in 1980.

The Providence Journal's Sean McAdam is quoted in the book:

He was a liar, plain and simple. Roger was as full of shit as any athlete I've ever seen in my career. He said whatever worked for him, whether it was truthful or not. Reality didn't matter for Roger Clemens in any way, shape or form.

Today I learned that Clemens named his split-finger fastball Mr. Splitty. That was pretty much the only endearing thing I read about my former idol in a 30-page span that covered a large chunk of his Red Sox career.

The other positive, besides a fascinating glimpse of the meltdown in the 1990 ALCS, was a quote by the SoxandPhils' own Ken Ryan:

Roger was Roger. As a young player, he wasn't the easiest person to approach. It's not like he wouldn't talk at all, but if you needed anything substantial or worthwhile, you first had to show that you were worthy in his eyes.

If Clemens hadn't ruined his reputation by selling himself to two devils (the Yankees and steroids), this book could be a crushing blow to the memories I have of the guy responsible for me being a Red Sox fan. But he destroyed his own image long before Jeff Pearlman documented his downfall.

I have read a lot of negative stuff I hadn't heard before. I wonder how much of that I would have known and whether it would have affected my fandom if the Internet had existed when I was young.

Clemens is a waste, but The Rocket that Fell to Earth isn't.

Non-book quotables: Shane Victorino on trying to steal second base when down by two runs in the 9th inning on Monday: "There's no excuses to the fact that I f'd up." David Ortiz's no comment today after the media learned he was dropped to sixth in tonight's lineup: "I'll talk after I go deep."

Tonight's games: Joe Blanton was moneyball tonight, giving up no runs in seven innings with a career-high 11 strikeouts in a 5-3 win over the Marlins. Victorino didn't F-up tonight, going 4-5 with a run and RBI. The 9th got a little dicey with Chad Durbin and Scott Eyre on the mound, but Brad Lidge eventually cleaned up the mess after walking his first batter. ... Papi isn't talking yet, although he has a double and a walk in his first three plate appearances. Jon Lester imploded in the 5th inning, giving up five runs. The Sox trail the Twins 5-2 in the 7th.

[Photo credit: JeffPearlman.com and Amazon.com]

A Red Sox fan 23 years and counting

Christine and I celebrated the 23rd anniversary of my becoming a Red Sox fan (and my birthday) with a fine dinner at one of our favorite restaurants. Among my goodies was one of the recent Roger Clemens biographies, which is appropriate since he's the reason I got hooked on the Sox in the first place.

She also said I can pick out a scrubby SoxandPhils player to sponsor on baseball-reference.com. I see that Mike Benjamin is available, but I want to see who else is out there before committing.

The Phillies couldn't win on my birthday, losing 4-1 to the Nationals. Stupid Julian Tavarez (Orange Julius, as I used to call him) got his first save since 2006.

The Red Sox bailed out Jon Lester's subpar performance (five runs in six innings) and are tied 5-5 with the Indians in the 9th inning.

March Madness

Despite my recent attendance at a St. Joe's game, I'm not a big college basketball fan. But I love tournaments. One of my favorite wrestling moments was the Wrestlemania IV tournament to crown a new champion after the title was deemed because of a controversial match between Andre the Giant and Hulk Hogan.

Yes, I can vividly remember all the events leading up to that, plus all 16 matches on the card, but sometimes I can't remember what I walked into the kitchen for.

Curt Schilling has a little bracketology going on where you can vote on pitching matchups to determine the best hurler since WWII. I love the concept and enjoy playing along; I just wish he had given the entire bracket and seedings up front so I could predict it all the way through. So far, through two rounds, there have been no surprises. The only one I would have gotten wrong has been the closest: a second-seeded Roger Clemens over a 15th-seeded Dave Stewart, 53 percent to 47 percent.

I thought the pro Red Sox contingency of Schilling's blog would be biased against the roider. I voted for Stewart. Yeah, he pretty much knocked us out of the playoffs in 1988 and 1990, but I blame our ace (Clemens) for not being able to match him.

Roger Clemens racing

I didn't intend on this being Roger Clemens week, but the holiday has given me time to do some short essay writing. Here's one from my Cub Scout days:

A definite highlight of Cub Scouts was the Pinewood Derby. Dad would install the weights and carve the car, and I would paint it and stick the numbers on the back in hopes my little piece of wood would roll down a ramp faster than anyone else's.

I competed twice. The first time was with a black car with flames on it. It had my initials, and I used No. 31 for Dave Winfield. I think I came in second place, and I got to compete at the regionals, where I was blown out of the water. Those guys were serious.

In year two, I didn't win anything. Maybe because the car was an homage to Roger Clemens - all red and blue with a big 21 on the hood and an "R" on the trunk.

That little speck in the middle? Dad was a little sloppy with this edition and used a screw that was too big to hold in the weights. That sucker is sharp. After I salvaged this from the attic, Christine couldn't believe they let me race with that sticking up.

I can't believe anyone would allow a little kid race with a car dedicated to Roger Clemens.

Antiquated Red Sox garb IV

I've put off this post long enough, but I figure I should mark the one-year anniversary of SoxandPhils by wrapping up a feature I've left open for far too long. (Although I may have to revisit it soon if and when Jason Varitek signs elsewhere.)

Among all my Red Sox garb, my favorite is the one I can no longer wear. Like the artifacts from my journalism career, I will officially retire it to storage after this post is filed.

It is the authentic Roger Clemens jersey that I literally saved pennies in my childhood to buy.

I collected change in a giant mayonnaise jar. I kept a small Figment (a Disney character) at the bottom in hopes of burying him with quarters and dimes. Figment's head stayed above the coin line, but it was a big enough jar that by the time high school rolled around, I had about $100. I was soon wearing a No. 21 on my back, just like the guy who first attracted me to the Red Sox.

Before turning to steroids to extend his career in hopes of becoming an upper pantheon Hall of Famer, Clemens - then largely unknown - struck out 20 batters on my 9th birthday in 1986. I already hated the Yankees, and that cemented the Red Sox as my new team.

Several years later, I was so proud to have bought his jersey. I said I'd be buried in it - and haven't completely ruled that out yet. {Over my dead body.}

When he bolted for the Blue Jays, I swore I wouldn't wear the jersey again, but I began to before he joined the Empire. Then, when he became an Astro, I wore it again until he rejoined the Empire.

Now that he's become the poster boy for the Mitchell Report and the steroid era, I know I have to put it away until/unless the Red Sox give it to some promising young prospect. I had hoped Clay Buchholz would get it, but that looks like it won't happen. Why couldn't have Jon Lester wanted 21?

I've had to do a lot of growing up this year, and I think it's time I put away this childhood memento.

I miss old-school Nintendo

Being between jobs this week gave me plenty of time for chores I've been putting off for a long time, decades even. I went through my closet and got rid of all my clothes that are too big, I gave the windows a really thorough cleaning, and I finally organized my memorabilia from the trip to England I took when I was 17.

I've been surprisingly busy when I thought I'd be sitting around in my underwear playing video games such as Roger Clemens MVP Baseball. I haven't played it (don't know if my old Nintendo still exists or works), but I came across the game while looking through a trunk of baseball cards I salvaged from my parents' attic last month.

I don't know why I saved it or my scribbles of progress codes, including notes as to which pitchers I had used.

It's in the trash now, but it gave me an opportunity to remember its cheesiness, thanks to this YouTube posting:



Before finding that video, I had forgotten how lame this game was. It starts off with generic peppy intro music, with the Rocket firing one at you. Then you choose your team - there were no MLB licenses, so all the teams had generic names like the San Francisco Quakes or Cincinnati Big Cats.

Similarly, other than Clemens, all the players IDs were cleverly concealed. You couldn't pitch Dave Righetti, but there was a Raggs in the San Francisco bullpen. Kevin Bass was nowhere to be found, but Basser was. There wasn't a Bobby Ojeda, but there was an Oleda pitcher for Los Angeles. Playing rightfield is Raspberry ... where's Darryl Strawberry?

Then, there are a few bars of the national anthem with two generic but patriotic players who look strangely like Wade Boggs and Dwight Evans placing their caps over their hearts. Finally, game action, which is just as cheesy as everything else I described, begins.

Thankfully, when you were at your wits' end, Clemens himself would pop in for some "Rocket Talk" to help you win the game.

I couldn't find a screen grab that says, "When you're old and washed up, turn to performance-enhancing drugs."

I don't play many video games anymore, but when I do, my tastes are a little more sophisticated.

[Image: Moby Games]

Lester's contagious

Young Cole Hamels and Justin Masterson weren't quite unhittable, but each tried to match Jon Lester tonight. Hamels threw 7 shutout innings with 4 hits, 2 walks and 11 K's, getting a no decision in the 1-0 win because his teammates couldn't remember how to score until the 9th inning against the Nationals. (They were shut out last night.)

Masterson's line wasn't as pretty, but he got his first major league win against the Kansas City Royals, with 6 1/3 innings, 1 run, 5 hits, 3 walks and 5 K's. Jonathan Papelbon pitched out of Hideki Okajima's based-loaded jam in the 8th to save the 2-1 game.

Disturbing Lester nugget: There have been lots of stories, stats and trivia since last night's no-no. One, taken from baseball-reference's dugout central, scares me:

At 24 years and 133 days, Lester is the youngest lefty to throw a no-hitter since the Cardinals’ Bud Smith no-hit the Padres on Sept. 3, 2001. Smith was 21 years and 315 days.

Disturbing Chris Wheeler comment: At the beginning of the broadcast: "Is Cole Hamels the slumpbuster for the Phillies tonight?" At least there were no thong references.

All-star catcher and movie star from Philly retires: A few days ago, Christine and I wondered if the Phillies would have some kind of ceremony for Mike Lieberthal. We learned on Sunday that they are. He's "retiring" as a Phil and will throw out the first pitch on June 1. Oh yeah, Mike Piazza's retiring, too.

Pedro Martinez says he might retire after this year, but I'm not convinced. If he does, I bet Roger Clemens will love watching those two be inducted into the Hall of Fame in consecutive years while he's sitting alone with his Mindy McCready albums.

Aging aces

A night after 45-year-old Jamie Moyer took care of the Arizona Diamondbacks on the mound and at the plate, 41-year-old Tim Wakefield made quick work of the Detroit Tigers. So quick, in fact, I forgot to check on his progress.

We had to run an errand, and I put the game on the car radio at 9:36. Christine asked if they were playing because there was so much talking. I said they were because they have four games against the Tigers - not thinking that the Red Sox could actually end a game in 2 hours, 21 minutes.

They can when Wake and Mike Timlin combine on a three-hit shutout.

Phillies: They're losing 6-3 after an awful fourth inning in which Adam Eaton walked in a run. (Randy Johnson was batting.) Then a three-run home run. Wonder if Eaton can again escape implosion and keep his record at 0-0.

On this date: Ten years ago, Kerry Wood struck out 20. It doesn't seem that long ago. And, even better, it's the one-year anniversary of that dramatic "goodness gracious" call by Suzy Waldman when Roger Clemens returned to the Bronx. After one scandalous year, it sounds even better. I wonder what she thinks when she hears it.

Almost on this date: Former Phil Gavin Floyd again lost a no-hit bid late in the game. This time it was with one out in the ninth before Joe Mauer doubled. I was rooting for it; Christine was conflicted, ever mindful that if the Phillies had kept young Gavin, Eaton would be dragging down some other team.

Welcome: Congrats to my friends on their new baby this week. Kushal, when it comes time to pick a baseball team, gravitate toward your Mom's family in Massachusetts, not your Yankee-loving father.

No place like home

Greg and I just returned from a cruise to Mexico - great to be on vacation but tough for baseball fans like ourselves because the only sports updates we've seen over the past week have come from ESPN Deportes. [They seem to like Albert Pujols and Alfonso Soriano.] We're lucky if we can catch any baseball scores on the ticker in between all the soccer news.

So, we have no idea what's been happening in SoxandPhils world. I see from tonight's game that Shane Victorino was activated from the disabled list [Mike Lowell was too]. Other than that, I got nuthin'.

I do, however, have a quick book review. I saved The 33-Year-Old Rookie so I would have a breezy, fun read for vacation. I pretty much agree with all the other reviews. Nothing groundbreaking, a little bit cliched, but an interesting story and a good look at life in the minors and independent leagues. In some interviews, Greg and I think that Chris Coste can sound a bit too cocky, but this book makes it clear that he needed that extra confidence to make it through all of those years in low-level ball. The book is a quick read, and I recommend it.

Oh, one former Red Sox note: Before we left Philadelphia on Monday morning, I ducked into a newsstand and saw the headline blazing across the New York Daily News regarding Roger Clemens and Mindy McCready. I bought the paper and ran it back to Greg - can't wait to catch up on the details of that story.

Happy anniversary

The other day in the mall, Christine spotted a family - the father had a Chase Utley shirt on while his boys wore Red Sox hats. "They're just as screwed up as our family," she said.

"Nah," I replied. "They're just products of '04."

I smiled, thinking these two young boys were like the legions who became Bulls fans in the 1980s. My seminal Red Sox moment occurred 22 years ago today. Here's the story.

Although he's turned out to be the biggest ass in baseball, I can never forget that without Roger Clemens striking out 20 on my ninth birthday, I would be rooting for some other team like the Blue Jays, and then Christine and I would really have problems.

I know, I have to finish this series and induct the roider into my Hall of Fame of antiquated Red Sox garb, but it's hard to find the time and right mix of emotion.

Just like last year

A day after the Red Sox and Phillies appeared to be more chump than champ, they each invoked happy memories of 2007.

Bearing gaudy new rings, the Red Sox, behind 2008 ace Daisuke Matsuzaka, handled the Tigers with ease after what seemed to be a typical Red Sox championship celebration: Banners draped the Green Monster; a parade of champions displayed trophies won in New England from all four major professional sports; and Bill Buckner returned to Fenway for the first time since 1990.

(I always blamed John McNamara for Game 6, but in retrospect, with Roger Clemens' aversion to the truth, maybe the pitcher did ask out.)

Dan Shaughnessy captioned the carnival atmosphere, while the Globe posted a couple pictures.

In Shea, the Phillies kept streaking against the Mets. Although Chase Utley kept getting bopped like a whack-a-mole and Jimmy Rollins limped off the field, it was the Mets who were once again left punch drunk.

That's nine straight for the Phillies over the Mets, but don't tell David Wright - he must not remember the first eight:

It’s one straight loss in 2008. Done, over with. We can’t change anything. It’s a new year, a different team, and I think we’re a better team.

I never believed in curses or jinxes, but if I did: The Phillies are now 4-0 when Christine can't watch them, 0-4 when she can. Tomorrow's game is on CN8, which means Phillies win.

Dude

Subscribing to HBO would be a waste of money for me; I don't have the time to watch much of its programming. But there are times I wish I had it, such as now to see the Real Sports profile on Lenny Dykstra, the financial whiz.

The Inquirer had some of the transcript. Most impressive about Dykstra's transformation from the Dude to Money Dude is this exchange between Bernard Goldberg and Jim Cramer of Mad Money:

Cramer: "If I didn't know any better I would tell you that everything you hear from Lenny is an act. Because there's no way that he would ever, that you would ever feel like he's as smart as he really is, if you listen to him. Now, there are probably four or five people in the world who, if they sent me an e-mail, told me to learn a stock, I would actually take them seriously."
Goldberg: "And he's one of them?"
Cramer: "He's one of them. He's one of them."

I first heard about this on WIP this morning. Here's a summary of a real interesting story Angelo Cataldi told. I caught it midway, so I didn't hear where he got it from:

Goldberg asked Dykstra about steroids and the Mitchell report. Dykstra denied juicing on camera. After the cameras stopped, Goldberg apologized for the questioning but said he had to because it's been in the news. Dykstra replied, "It's OK. I hope you don't mind that my answer was a lie." Later, Goldberg called him to make sure he understood properly. "Nah, I was just kidding," Dykstra replied.

Speaking of steroids and outfielders from the '80s, the Globe has more from Mike Greenwell and his lamenting of the steroid era. He has a point about how drugged-up players have overshadowed his career, but Greenwell loses credibility by defending Roger Clemens:

Greenwell said his former teammate, Roger Clemens, belongs in the Hall of Fame.
"First of all, he's one of the hardest workers I've ever met in my life," said Greenwell. "I mean, period - in sports and out of sports. It would just blow me away with how much he worked.
"Do I know, or think, or have an idea whether he did do any of that stuff? I really don't. I don't have any idea. My thought is no because he's such a hard worker that he wouldn't do that. Then when you watch the hearings and you see the things going on, it does cast doubt, but I certainly hope people don't judge his career on that. I think that's a shame."

Speaking of roiding Yankees pitchers: Hide the HGH - Andy Pettitte is injured.

Houston, we have a problem

In 2003, my work week ran Sunday through Thursday. That was a good thing on Oct. 17 - the day after Grady Little earned a middle name. After a late night and the most painful loss I have experienced, I was in no condition to work.

Little's inept management and a roider named Giambi cost a nearly certain, first-ever meaningful victory over the Empire. I was in shock and sputtered through that Friday, unsure if the game really unfolded like that. The joy of '04 took away the sting, but I still feel cheated as we have learned of more and more taint to the Empire.

Last night, watching highlights of the Andy Pettitte apology (although he's not a cheater, you know), a thought occurred to me: He and the prime roider, Roger Clemens, also fueled the Astros to the postseason. In 2005, when they went to the World Series, they narrowly edged the Phillies for the wild card.

While everyone marveled that the 'Stros finished 16 games over .500 after falling 15 games under in May, no one really questioned how an aging team could recover like that. Now we know it was fueled by the best 1-2 combo drugs could produce: Andy Pettitte and the Roidger. Each had what can be considered a career-best season: 17-9, 2.39 for Pettitte and 13-8, 1.87 for the 42-year-old Clemens.

In what I've considered - until now - to be a Phillies' choke job, the Astros won the wild card by 1 game. Looking back, the Astros swept the six-game season series, with Pettitte and Clemens winning half of those games. Then-Phils closer Billy Wagner blew two of the other games in a September series in Philly. The first blow, a home run by Craig Biggio, sounded like it killed Harry Kalas

I can't say the Phils would have replaced the Astros as league champions, but they did have winning records against all the other playoff teams that year. Why hasn't Arlen Specter tacked this onto his investigation of the Eagles-Pats Super Bowl?

Addendum: It seems as if that Kalas call isn't anywhere on the Internet, as this post from Crashburn Alley recounts an interview with Kalas on WIP.

About 32 minutes into the clip, Cataldi is asking Kalas about the most downtrodden he’s been on the air, and before he even said it, I was thinking “Craig Biggio’s ninth-inning three-run home run off of Billy Wagner in 2005.” I can remember Harry’s voice clearly to this day and it may have been the furthest my heart has sunk in my entire life.

"Probably the most downer call I ever made, Angelo, is Billy Wagner’s last year with the Phillies when Biggio hit a home run off him and we were on our way to perhaps post-season, and when Biggio hit that home run — I mean I heard a replay of that …"

The WIP team struggled with finding a clip of Harry’s call, and, unfortunately, there isn’t one on MLB.com, as they have the FSN Houston broadcast team for the September 7, 2005, game in question.

Beltran's pick and other rants

Carlos Beltran has made a bold prediction: The Mets, with the league's highest payroll and probably the best team on paper, will win the division this year. The team that should win has no right making that pronouncement.

He even called out the MVP:

Let me tell you this: Without (Johan) Santana, we felt as a team we have a chance to win in our division. With him now, I have no doubt that we’re going to win in our division. I have no doubt in that. We’ve got what it takes. We have good chemistry as a team. He fits great because he’s a great guy. He’s one of the best pitchers in the game. Who doesn’t want to have him on any ballclub? Without him last year we did good until the end of the season. So this year, to Jimmy Rollins, we are the team to beat.

Hopefully, come October, Carlos and his mates will still be wondering if the champagne is sweeter, if they will be dancing into the fall and whether the season truly starts on the last weekend in September.

Is this even worth responding to? Just like last year, the Mets are supposedly better on paper. Just like last year, preseason predictions have the Mets winning the division. Are the Phillies in the Mets heads that much? Are they that desperate and think the only way they can win is to make this prediction? Stick with what you do best, Beltran.

Maybe the Mets know they can't win on the field, so they're trying to win the preseason war of the words.

Less trivial: Good read in the Globe on Jon Lester's journey from cancer to champion.

Stop the presses: Pretty Boy Jeter's a bad fielder. Some local guy (Philly) has a new way of measuring fielding. It not only shows that the Yankees captain has been the worst shortstop in the majors the past few years, he has cost the Empire more runs than any other player at any position. That includes Manny, who is also deemed defensively-challenged.

Quandary: The Yogi Berra Museum has removed Roidger Clemens' jersey from its display of the drug-infested Empire championships. This blurb makes no mention whether Yankee hero Andy Pettitte will get similar treatment.

But it does pose an interesting dilemma: What do I do with my old No. 21?

Pitchers: Good, bad & ugly

So the battle to be the caboose of the Phils starting rotation is starting to shape up. It looks like the bane of last year's pitching staff, Adam Eaton, the $7 million man, will get the first shot.

He's not exactly instilling confidence that he'll be better or that he understands how bad last year was for him.

"I think we're all pitching for a job to some degree. I think they're making the pitching staff as strong as they can. Last year, we had six starters, and it turned out we had injuries. They learned. We all learned. Pitching depth is a factor in getting to the postseason. I think I'm a part of that factor. I'm going to go out and do my job."

Yeah, he's going to be a factor. One of six. Hopefully we've seen his worst.

"Last year was my worst year as a baseball player, so I'd like to forget it and move on. But obviously, you need to learn from your failures and need to correct some things and move forward."

If he falters again, the newest Phil, Kris Benson, should be ready to replace him midseason, which means, assuming he's fully healed from that little rotator cuff surgery, we'll see a league-average pitcher replacing a poor one.

Let's hope Cole Hamels can stay healthy (he promises he will) so these two dregs aren't called upon to be anything more than the fifth starter.

Benson's arrival, with his wife Anna, will be interesting. Among the other traits she brings to Philly, Anna doesn't like PETA. It'll be fun to see how she fits in with a decidedly pro-animal environment. Consider:

-- Mrs. Utley volunteers with the SPCA and rescues abused and maimed animals.
-- Pat Burrell has a bull dog named Elvis. Every year he dresses Elvis in a jersey and trots him out on the field for father-child day.
-- J-Roll has a couple of dogs too.

So if Jen Utley runs the Bensons out of town and Adam Eaton remains Adam Eaton, the Phils could need another starter.

I hear that Roidger Clemens could be available - he's sworn to Congress he didn't do roids so that should settle that. Jeez, give the guy a break, he wore "USA" across his chest for the country. That little conversation Andy Pettitte "misremembered" was really a show Clemens watched about some old guys taking HGH.

MSNBC's post-game summed it up well. Actually, all the pregame this week also said the same thing: "We learned nothing new. Clearly, one of these men is lying."

Another roider!?!

I can't take it anymore.

Another day, another report of someone else taking the juice. This time there's an admission.

OK, it's not a real admission, and Booker T isn't the name of the day in the world of steriod scandal. The latest revelation is that Debbie Clemens did the juice to prepare for a bikini shot in the 2003 SI swimsuit edition.

This week we've seen bloody gauze, syringes, beer cans and now this. The worst part is we probably won't ever get a straight answer. Who can you really trust: the egomaniac who's been full of it for his 20-year career or the guy who saves other people's medical-type waste for years?

I also keep going back to an idea Bill Simmons proposed recently: What if Clemens started juicing when he was still a Red Sox?

With all the craziness swirling around this story, it seems more likely that Clemens' Boston finish was tainted by more than just being out-of-shape and unmotivated.

Here's my memory of his ending:

On Sept. 18, 1996, I was in my dorm room doing whatever a college sophomore does on a random weekday night, when across the ticker comes news that Roger Clemens is pitching a great game.

Being the ancient times when the Internet was still dawning, I waited for ESPN to interrupt its regularly scheduled programming to see if Clemens could match the 20 K game he had 10 years earlier. He did.

I took it as a sign that Clemens - who besides the strike-shortened 1994 hadn't had a good year since 1992 - was back and would have a respectable ending to his career. It was such a deep moment I popped my favorite mix tape in my Walkman (remember, ancient times of 1996) and headed for a courtyard where I could think alone.

Also fresh in my mind was one of my best in-park experiences a month earlier when Clemens shut out the Angels in what proved to be his last home shutout in Boston.

On Aug. 1, after a drubbing by the Royals, Clemens stood at 4-11 with a 4.36 ERA, 9.16 K/9 and a 1.42 WHIP, averaging 6.8 innings per start. In his last 10 Red Sox starts, he averaged 7.7 innings and went 6-2 with a 2.08 ERA, striking out 11.24 per 9 and a posting a 1.12 WHIP.

Was Aug. 1 the end of the Rocket and the start of the Roider? Could be, but thankfully, even if it were, it didn't affect championships.