They're losing their minds

Things aren't starting out too well for last year's uncrowned NL East champs. You would figure signing Johan would do something to overcome the fact that they crumbled last year, couldn't even beat the Marlins on the last day of the season to force a tie for the division and were basically whiny little bitches as the Phils took care of business.

Now, the Mets can't even beat a college team. And they can't even do that without Billy Wagner threatening a kid who tried to bunt off him. Apparently, you don't make B-Wags field during the first spring training game - especially if you play for the University of Michigan.

Wagner, clearly annoyed, shook his head a number of times, and Cislo wisely swung away, grounding out. Wagner said he couldn't believe that Cislo, a junior, bunted.

"If he got that bunt down, I would have drilled the next guy," Wagner said. "Play to win against Villanova."

Even Willie Randolph - one of the few Yankees who doesn't sicken me - didn't have a problem with his ace reliever's threat.

Asked about Wagner's reaction, manager Willie Randolph laughed.

"He couldn't bring himself to drill the kid," Randolph said. "Nolan Ryan might have. Nolan or Roger [Clemens] may have done it, kid or not."

But then again, maybe Willie also remains shell-shocked from last year:

While the Mets viewed the game as their preseason tuneup, Michigan was fired up, and Randolph mentioned that all the Wolverines' chatter "-- me off a little bit."

The Mets are clearly a wounded, demoralized animal, the wrong mix when people are already predicting a Phillies-Mets brawl. Ironically, when that talk was going good, Wagner was complaining about a young Phillie taking him on, but he has no problems threatening to put a fastball in some young kid's gut.

"I have all the respect in the world for those guys," Billy Wagner said [of the Phillies]. "I don't have any ill will against them. But if they want to come out and fight, then bring it on. That's their prerogative -- fine. I'm too old to be worrying about fighting somebody. I'm having enough trouble getting somebody out as it is.

"If one of their little 25-year-olds wants to come out and whip my ass, they can brag that they whipped a 37-year-old man's ass. Well, good for them. It's always good to play that underdog role.

"If they come out there, though, there's two things that could happen. I'm pretty sure they're going to whip my ass. But what if I get a shot in? What if? Then you just got your ass whipped on national TV by the littlest guy in baseball, so think of that 'What if?'"