Relieving characters

It's almost arbitration time, and since Ryan Howard and Cole Hamels were all locked up last year, we turn to Jonathan Papelbon to provide the annual SoxandPhils whining. He's not there yet, but he seems to be warming up in this entertaining interview with Gordon Edes, who thinks the closer will earn about $10 million this year:

Seven big league closers have contracts for $10 million or more. It's reasonable to expect that Papelbon will join them.

"Heck yeah, as far as what me and my brain are thinking," Papelbon said, "but I haven't even sat down with my agents [Seth and Sam Levinson] yet. We don't even have a number in place. There haven't been any discussions between me and the Red Sox and my agents at all."

As Papelbon's salary climbs ever higher, he understands that negotiations might turn more contentious.

I think Pap's days in Boston are numbered. He'll be gone when he hits free agency in 2011, if he's not traded next winter. He wants to break the bank, and the Red Sox are grooming a capable replacement in Josh Bard.

I'll miss him. He's the kind of player whose talent overshadows the dumb comments he makes. And at least he's true to his character, such as the fact that he watches more Mickey Mouse Club than MLB Network:

The TV in his house is always turned to Nick Jr., the Disney Channel or Sprout, he says, so he hasn't been keeping track of the Red Sox's offseason moves.

"I had no idea we got [John] Lackey until [trainer Mike] Reinold came down to see me, just a few days ago," he said. "I swear to you. I don't know anything about the ballclub, but I know the words to the 'Mickey Mouse Clubhouse' song."

Adrian Beltre deal? He hadn't heard. Casey Kotchman about to be traded to the Mariners? Nope. Mike Cameron? "Cameron, Mike Cameron?" he said. "We got him? I swear to you, I didn't know."

Papelbon is not the only quirky SoxandPhil reliever in the news today. Clay Condrey signed with the Twins, and Scott Eyre retired. Christine will miss them both.

The Pen just got a whole lot less interesting.

Exit stage left

The news today pertains to the fates of two of the SoxandPhils' leading men who probably have played their last games for the good guys.

Contract negotiations between the Red Sox and All-Star Jason Bay have become strained. Meanwhile, the Phillies didn't offer a contract to Clay Condrey, star of The Pen, who was a valuable piece of the 2008 bullpen.

Obviously, Bay is the more important news. He did an admirable job replacing Manny Ramirez's steroid-boosted bat in left field and exhibited nothing but class during his year and a half with the Red Sox. I would love for his tenure to continue for a few more years, but he doesn't strike me as the uber-elite player we should overpay for.

Hopefully, he goes to the Mets and becomes another sunken cost for them. Christine is rooting for a completely random team, such as the Mariners, to sign him. My only hope is that the Yankees don't sign him. Ultimately, I don't think he'll make a major difference for them, but I just don't want to hear all the crap about yet another reason why the Empire is the class of baseball because they have money to burn.

Speaking of players who have switched teams, last night Christine and I saw what happens in real life when a player moves on. While knocking off some last-minute items for Christmas at a local wine store, I glanced over to the discount rack and saw a bottle with someone's face on it labeled Schneider.

"Who's Schneider?" I said loud enough that the clerk asked if we needed help.

Upon closer inspection, it was the Phillies new backup catcher, Brian Schneider, and his Schneider Schardonnay, which benefits kids' sports programs. But because the bottle was from his Mets days, it was reduced from $13.99 to $9.99. {Um, I think it's more likely that it was discounted because who wants to buy a bottle of Schneider Schardonnay, regardless of team?}

We should have bought it to see how it compares to Manny Being Merlot. {In retrospect, Manny Being Merlot tasted a little steroid-y.}

A couple of rivalry series

The Phillies and Red Sox renew their big rivalries with the Rays and Nationals this week.

Everyone knows the bloody history between the Phillies and the Rays as they prepare for a rematch of the 2008 World Series. Actually, do two teams playing in a World Series count as a rivalry, especially when the series was so lopsided? Christine still dislikes the Rays, just because they were matched up against the Phillies, but I can barely remember who we beat in 2004 and 2007. I think if either the Cardinals or Rockies put up a fight, I might remember them more.

The Rays certainly remember. According to this story in the St. Petersburg Times, the Rays actually believe they would have won the World Series if Game 5 hadn't been postponed. Yeah, and I might be retired if I had bought a winning lottery ticket.

The Red Sox, meanwhile, relive their storied rivalry with the Nationals. OK, no real rivalry here, but I'll link to the Globe's story on the Nationals for our friend at Joe Wolf's Vertical Jump who's hoping for a Red Sox sweep to improve the Nats chances at Bryce Harper.

So far, so good: Phillies, on the road of course, are blowing out the Rays 10-1 in the 8th. Red Sox have a slim 4-3 lead over the Nationals in the 7th.

Latest bullpen injury: Clay Condrey. I swear Christine hadn't seen this post when she wondered whether MLB will cancel "The Pen" because injuries have wiped out just about everyone from the original cast. It's like the end of Family Matters when they replaced the mom and the youngest daughter quietly disappeared.

When it rains, it pours

And I'm not just talking about the fact that it rained all day (which it did, again).

The bad news just kept coming all day for the Phillies. It started in the morning when their - and maybe the league's - MVP Raul Ibanez was placed on the DL with a strained groin.

It continued through the afternoon when another bullpen meltdown (including Clay Condrey, who should be DL'd after not retiring any of the five batters he faced) capped off the Blue Jays sweep of the Phillies in Philadelphia. Ryan Madson gave up a run in the 9th inning to lose it 8-7, so cue the "he's a set-up guy who can't close" crap.

Oh, and that run was on a pinch-hit home run by Rod Barajas, who along with Scott Rolen really did a job on their former team this week, going 10-23 with five runs, nine RBI, three homers and three walks.

Days before this series, a certain Phillies fan, who shall remain nameless, was quite excited that Roy Halladay would miss the series due to injury. He wouldn't have made a difference.

Red Sox: The score isn't too bad (they trail the Marlins 2-1 in the 5th), but so far they've mustered just one hit (1st inning home run by Kevin Youkilis) off a pitcher with an ERA over 7.00. Jon Lester, who had been on quite a roll, threw 105 pitches through five innings, giving up seven hits, including two solo home runs.

A little better

Today, the Phillies were the Phillies again and Jon Lester was Jon Lester again. For one day anyway. Hope both teams can build off it.

We watched bits and pieces of the Phillies game as we visited Christine's Mom. Christine was resigned to another loss before Jimmy Rollins (until today, 1-13 for his career as a pinch hitter) came off the bench to hit a home run, making it a one run game. With the Padres B closer on the mound, the Phillies best hitter, Rual Ibanez, hit a game-winning, two-run home run. A magical ending to a day in which the Phillies celebrated the Phanatic's birthday with a magician.

Clay Condrey got the win - he now leads the staff with two W's. And, Christine is reluctantly warming to Ibanez. She thinks he seems to get a hit whenever she's watching, almost as if he's trying to win her allegiance from Pat Burrell.

Red Sox: They mustered only two runs today, but when Jon Lester pitches like Jon Lester circa 2008, that's plenty. He shut down the Orioles for seven innings, giving up just four hits and two runs with nine strikeouts.

That's four in a row for the .500 Red Sox. It won't be long before their poor start is forgotten.

Little SoxandPhils nugget: Like in Philadelphia, Adam Eaton is proving to Orioles fans that he can't pitch. His first two starts: 10 earned runs, 17 hits and four walks in eight innings after winning a spot in the rotation with a stellar spring: 7.29 ERA, 1.95 WHIP in 21 innings.

He's so bad that even his opposing starting pitcher wanted to take some hacks at him on Saturday:

Josh Beckett wanted in as a hitter last night because he's 4 for 8 with three doubles against Adam Eaton, the Orioles' starter. With the way David Ortiz has been going, would Francona consider it? "No," said the manager.

Although Beckett has homered against the Phillies (we witnessed the blast off Brett Myers in 2006), none of his Eaton hits came in SoxandPhils competitions.

Christine says: Why isn't this on VH1's Celebreality?

Christine often complains that her Phillies never get mainstream attention and respect. Christine loves reality TV shows. So she is pleased, and we're both shocked, by the MLB Network's first original series: The Pen - a reality show about the Phillies bullpen as it tries to defend the World Championship.

I hope the show doesn't limit itself to the bullpen. Brett Myers was made to be a reality TV star. (For no reason, because I have never said that before, I just had a feeling of deja vu when I typed that.)

Clay Condrey, who could be a good sidekick for Myers, is excited:

"I think it'll be pretty neat," Clay Condrey said.

You'll probably become a star, Clay.

"I ain't no star," he said.

No, he's not. But Grammy-attending, white-tux wearing Shane Victorino is. Or, maybe not:

"When I walked on the red carpet I was like, 'Let me just go,' because I felt so out of place there," Victorino said. "But it was definitely a neat experience. I sat there and watched and it's amazing what kind of talent it takes to do what they do. I've played at the pinnacle of my sport, and they're playing at their pinnacle - the Grammys. It's like the top. To be able to watch them perform, it was very cool. Steve Wonder was great. Carrie Underwood. She was pretty impressive."

Shane does know how to grab attention, Hollywood style. He made sure to get in a SoxandPhils line to ensure he made this blog:

"Neil Diamond was unbelievable," Victorino said.

Fan of Neil?

"I'm not a fan, but I know his music," he said. "Sweet Caroline was the last song of the night. I was like, 'Oh, Boston, seventh-inning stretch. Here we go.' That's what I thought in my head."

{Please, don't let the Phillies become my worst nightmare - the Red Sox of 2005.}

[Photo credit: Albert L. Ortega, PR Photos]

Next time, bring in Eaton

"I've never been so glad to see Clay Condrey come into a game," Christine said in the 11th inning after the Phillies new long man, Adam Eaton, was warming up.

"They should have brought in Eaton," Christine said after Condrey gave up a lead-off single to Alfredo Amezago.

Condrey then walked Hanley Ramirez and hesitated on a sacrifice bunt to load the bases. Jorge Cantu then singled off the wall to end the game. For a moment, it looked like it could have duplicated the walk-off grand slam Dan Uggla had against the Phillies earlier this year. Instead, it was Marlins 3, Phillies 2.

Cole Hamels had another tough-luck outing - two runs, four hits, two walks and seven strikeouts in eight innings.

Condrey and the Phillies offense aren't the only ones getting blame around here. Christine and I are heading to Atlantic City tonight to celebrate the sixth year of officially uniting the SoxandPhils. When Hamels was up 2-1, I mentioned how quick the game was going. I then said I jinxed it and it would go into extra innings. Sure enough, Cody Ross tied it up with a home run.

The Phils have again lost their sole share of first. They're tied with the Mets, and the Marlins are just a half game out. Up next: Phillies at Mets, starting Tuesday.

Red Sox: Tim Wakefield gets the ball tonight with hopes of ending this little losing streak against the Angels, the best team in baseball. We'll miss the game because of dinner plans - we'll catch up tomorrow. The Rays, who won last night to take a 1.5 game lead, are losing today. The Red Sox-Angels game starts at 6 p.m. Eastern. This time slot for Sunday Night Baseball is an annual occurrence because the ESPYs are aired the Sunday after the All-Star game. Last year, the Phillies played in that game and notched a milestone - the first franchise with 10,000 losses - on national television.

Welcome back

On a night when both our teams played in Texas for the first time ever, Daisuke Matsuzaka and the Phillies offense decided to show up.

It was a typical Dice-K start - five innings, no runs, two hits, three walks and four strikeouts. And, of course, 87 pitches. But it's better than last time, when he couldn't get out of the 2nd inning. Red Sox 6, Astros 1.

For the Phillies, hold your hats. They scored more than four runs for the first time in nearly two weeks, back when they beat the Sox 8-2. I thought the 3rd inning could be a turning point in the season. Tied at one, the Rangers intentionally walked Pat Burrell to load them up for Ryan Howard, who struck out. But Pedro Feliz homered, giving the Phils a 5-1 lead.

That lead lasted about five minutes with Brett Myers pitching. He, and later Clay Condrey, gave back those five runs in the 3rd. There was an unnerving blank stare on Myers' face as he watched the rest of the inning from the dugout.

The Phillies, down by two, threatened to tie the game in the 9th. It was the sort of rally they use to have before they stunk. They scored one, but couldn't tie and lost 8-7 to the Rangers. And my thoughts in the 3rd were probably premature; only seven hits off a pitching staff that ranks last in the league in ERA and second to last in batting average.

Phils' bats, and fat Bart, pitch in

We were surprised to see the Phillies score a couple of runs early. We were confident that they wouldn't blow it, so we went out for ice cream mid-game. It was 4-0 when we entered the shop, 11-0 when we returned to our car.

The Phillies offense returned tonight against the Nationals. Hopefully, it's not a one-night engagement. Ryan Howard had a big night (three hits, four RBI, 10 TB and one BB), pushing up his averages to .195/.300/.443. Clay Condrey pitched three innings to save the 12-2 game.

Meanwhile, back in the Fens, where young hungry pitchers rule supreme, it was an old and (literally) hungry Bartolo Colon having a respectable debut, giving up two runs on six hits and two walks in five innings, striking out four. I've been thinking this week that we have an excess of quality starting pitching. But then I remember the last time we had an excess of quality starting pitching, we traded Bronson Arroyo for Wily Mo Pena.

Meanwhile, Manny Ramirez didn't hit two home runs tonight, meaning he's one game without two home runs away from fulfilling his promise of not hitting his 500th on this homestand:

There's something I've been meaning to tell you about the 500 home runs. I don't want to hit 500 right now. I want to wait a little while. No one is talking about it. No one's excited about it. I want to wait until everyone's excited about it.

Great, Manny, go ask Jon Lester if the fans get excited about a significant achievement.