Simpson-metrics

Christine and I actually had a few minutes last night after Trent went to bed and before we conked out ourselves.

We played one of the Simpsons episodes on the DVR: MoneyBART, a belated look at baseball's statistical development. Great epsidoe. First, I love that Marge tied in the classic 1992 episode by questioning Mike Scioscia on his radiation poisoning.

(By the way, the last guest star of that episode to retire was Ken Griffey Jr. last season. I know the words to the parody in that episode, changing Talkin' Baseball to Talkin' Softball. It's one of the few songs for which I know all the lyrics.)

Then, there were a couple knocks at members of the Red Sox organization. Lisa included Terry Francona in a list of names that she thought were women's, and Bill James popped up to boast that he made baseball as dull as doing your taxes.

There was just one Phillies reference - a gratuitous knock at its fans. Homer said the last time he was at a baseball game, he got tased after running on the field. Yeah, Philly's had some incidents, but it's not the only place with moronic fans who run on the field.

Zolecki wraps up the decade

Earlier this week, Todd Zolecki belatedly named Jimmy Rollins the Phillies player of the decade. (In December, SoxandPhils honored J-Roll along with Tim Wakefield as the two players who best resembled the ideals of our teams for the aughts.)

J-Roll was a fairly obvious pick, and we debated among ourselves who Zolecki would proclaim as Phillies pitcher of the decade. We figured that Cole Hamels didn't pitch enough and that it would come down to Brett Myers beating out Randy Wolf; at one point, we even had Vicente Padilla in the running. We reasoned that young Brett pitched the most of any Phillies pitcher in the decade, and although he didn't live up to expectations, he did perform well.

We were wrong. Zolecki went with the flameout Cole Hamels:

Forty-six pitchers made starts for the Phillies in the '00s. Of the 16 hurlers with 30 or more starts, Hamels is one of only two pitchers to have an ERA under 4.00 -- Padilla had a 3.98 ERA.

Hamels' .244 batting average against ranked second behind Robert Person (.233). Hamels' opponents' on-base-plus-slugging percentage (.704) ranked first. Hamels also ranked first in baserunners per nine innings (10.73), strikeouts per nine innings (8.38) and strikeout-to-walk ratio (3.67).

Oh, and he owned the 2008 postseason.

Yes, Hamels went 10-11 with a 4.32 ERA in 2009.

Yes, he pitched poorly in the 2009 postseason (1-2, 7.58 ERA in four starts). But nobody enjoyed the kind of success he had in his short period of time.

Somewhere, Adam Eaton demands a recount.

I guess we can't really gripe - it's just odd that a guy with less than four full seasons would get the honor. Then again, that may be a lot of seasons for one pitcher on one team in one decade. Let's just hope he retains his title in this decade.

It's official: The 2010 Red Sox are Bill James' science experiment on defensive metrics. ... The team acknowledged the minor league signing of Brian Shouse, along with six others.

Football: I don't know when we'll post tomorrow, so I'll make my weekend football picks now so that nobody accuses me of rigging my picks when the Cardinals upset the Saints tomorrow. I'll also pick the Cowboys to upset the Vikings, but the favorites in the AFC - Colts over Ravens and Chargers over Jets.

Aces disgraced

I found out an hour before game time that the Red Sox were going to be on TBS, so in our house it was going to be an exercise of hitting the back button on the remote after every pitch, toggling between Josh Beckett and Brett Myers.

Alas, Beckett couldn't right the sinking ship and Myers pitched like a joker, not the nominal ace he is. Not good news on either end. Beckett actually looked OK for a fat guy with a hip problem. Until the 5th inning. You could tell the Sox were going to be punished when Terry Francona abandoned his pitch count to try to get Beckett through the inning.

And, we were robbed. Dustin Pedroia was safe on a bang-bang play in the eight. Yes, it was a 7-4 final, but it would have mattered.

Oh, and shove it, "Mr. President."

For the Phils, at least Brad Lidge pitched well. Speaking of pitchers, where are the Reds coming up with these guys? They're going to make prognosticators who took a chance on them look very smart.

Other news of the day: First a treat for the Phillies fans - some comments from a member of the 2007 Mets, Paul Lo Duca:

I would equate it to having a serious problem in your life that you think is going to go away but never does. We were all cool, calm and collected. We didn't think anything of it. We always felt we'd get out of it. But it never happened. ... It was a tailspin we couldn't stop.

We kept looking at the scoreboard, wondering if the Phillies were going to lose, but they kept on winning. And then the pressure kept on mounting. It was tough.

Wes gone: Marlins get their man; Phillies management proves it is not the most inept in baseball. And, as Christine said yesterday, another favorite whipping boy, Adam Eaton, really did have one of his best starts as a Phillie on Saturday:

Eaton had his first quality start since July 3 in Houston, when he allowed three runs in six innings in a 5-4 loss to the Astros. That's 13 starts (and nine months) between quality starts.

Eaton's take:

We lost. But you want to give your team a chance to win, and I was able to do that. I'm kind of angry with myself the way I came out, but I got into a good groove and made some good pitches.

Injuries (non-SoxandPhils): This Dioner Navarro injury will make Christine cringe.

Age: I didn't mention this last week because I wanted more info and couldn't find the actual release, but the Red Sox opened with the majors' oldest roster, averaging 31.33 years. In related news, the Phillies AAA team averages 30.04 years.

More old guys: With the Mets and Diamondbacks losing Pedro Martinez and Doug Davis, David Wells wonders why he can't get work. Maybe he's been blackballed for steroids like Jose Canseco, Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens. David Wells? Well, Bill James says baldies are roiders.