Baseball players say the dumbest things

Two months after Cole Hamels played along with a radio bit and declared that the Mets did in fact choke the last two years, the Mets continue to flap their gums. Carlos Beltran took it to a new low this week:

The only thing that I know is he will be watched every time he faces us. Hopefully we kill him, and then he'll have to deal with the situation.

I wonder if that is "gangsta" enough for his manager, Jerry Manuel. What kind of thugs do they have up there? If someone associated with Philadelphia advocated killing an opponent, he would be vilified more than any other athlete not named Alex Rodriguez this week.

Oh, and speaker of A-Roid ... teammate Johnny Damon made a public service announcement, saying there are worse things Slappy could have done:

Murdering someone, you know there's plenty of other things that could be worse than what he did... Yeah, he did some bad things. He took a steroid, definitely do not condone that, at all. But there are a lot worse things he could have been doing out there. He hasn't done a crime.

Oh yes, taking illegal drugs purchased in a foreign country is definitely not a crime, Johnny. He has always reminded me of Saturday Night Live's Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer, but Phil Hartman presented much better defense arguments than Damon.

While New Yorkers did their city proud this week, we had a good ol' Sox and Phils feud across the coasts. Apparently, Larry Bowa isn't Brad Penny's favorite coach and vice versa.

"A lot of stuff went on last year," Penny told Tim Brown of Yahoo! Sports. "There were a few people I didn't get along with on the coaching staff that don't respect people. I mean, me and Joe [Torre] got along fine. I just feel like nobody had my back there. You're in the clubhouse and you have players coming up to you saying coaches are saying this to them about you. And that's just not a good situation to be in."

When asked which of the coaches Penny had issues with, Penny replied. "Your boy, Larry Bowa."

Asked for a reaction, Bowa fired right back without waiting to hear what Penny said:

"You mean the same guy who was never on time, out of shape and has one complete game? He has more stuff to worry about in the A.L. East than me. He has to worry about getting people out. He was never on time, was out of shape and never helped the kids out. Put that on the (expletive) dot-com. Put it in the headline," Bowa told Tony Jackson of Inside The Dodgers.

Christine said this exchange speaks poorly of Penny's character. I think it was just a symptom of poor coaching. He will flourish with the championship-caliber coaching staff in Boston.

Pat Burrell gets it done

Led by venerable Pat Burrell, the Phillies bats stirred a bit today to beat the Brewers 6-2 and advance to the National League Championship Series against Manny, Joe Torre, Larry Bowa and the Dodgers. We'll be at Game 2 and, if necessary, Game 7.

After getting overly excited before Game 3's loss, Christine and I are pretty mellow for the Phillies first playoff series clincher since 1993. It probably hasn't sunk in yet.

There was some anxiety before the game. We missed the first third of it because of an outdoor charitable function. Though friends' cell phones, we knew it was 1-0 on Jimmy Rollins' leadoff home run. When we got into the car, we just missed Burrell's three-run homer, which put them up 4-0. Jayson Werth then hit a solo home run. We felt like honking our horn, but that probably would have been rude to the kids playing soccer in the park we were leaving.

There were two stars today: Burrell, who added an insurance run with a solo blast in the 7th, and Joe Blanton, who gave up one run on five hits with no walks and seven strikeouts. Brad Lidge closed it out with a remarkably calm 16-pitch inning - one hit, one strikeout.

So while we prepare for Josh Beckett's attempt to sweep away the Angels tonight, our attention also turns to the other looming team from California.

If this is the year of the SoxandPhils World Series, there's probably no better opponent for the Phils than the Dodgers. There are so many angles - former Yankee manager Joe Torre, former Phils manager Larry Bowa, and former Red Sox Derek Lowe, Manny Ramirez and Nomar Garciaparra. Remember all the much speculation about a Manny trade to Philly involving today's man-of-the-hour Pat Burrell? I wonder how differently this season would have turned out if that trade were made. As Christine noted, all of Red Sox nation should be rooting for the Phils to knock Manny out of the playoffs, although I'm sure some would love to beat him in the World Series.

Assuming the Phillies keep their rotation in order, we'll finally see Brett Myers in Citizens Bank Park this year for Friday's Game 2. I'm torn about wanting to see a Game 7 - it would be such a rush, but I know Christine would be a wreck and my hand would be bloodied from fingernails digging into it for nine tortuous innings.

Well, I have some time to mull that all over. Meantime, congrats to the Phils and let's go Sox - get our second clincher of the day.

[Photo credits: Associated Press]