I miss old-school Nintendo

Being between jobs this week gave me plenty of time for chores I've been putting off for a long time, decades even. I went through my closet and got rid of all my clothes that are too big, I gave the windows a really thorough cleaning, and I finally organized my memorabilia from the trip to England I took when I was 17.

I've been surprisingly busy when I thought I'd be sitting around in my underwear playing video games such as Roger Clemens MVP Baseball. I haven't played it (don't know if my old Nintendo still exists or works), but I came across the game while looking through a trunk of baseball cards I salvaged from my parents' attic last month.

I don't know why I saved it or my scribbles of progress codes, including notes as to which pitchers I had used.

It's in the trash now, but it gave me an opportunity to remember its cheesiness, thanks to this YouTube posting:



Before finding that video, I had forgotten how lame this game was. It starts off with generic peppy intro music, with the Rocket firing one at you. Then you choose your team - there were no MLB licenses, so all the teams had generic names like the San Francisco Quakes or Cincinnati Big Cats.

Similarly, other than Clemens, all the players IDs were cleverly concealed. You couldn't pitch Dave Righetti, but there was a Raggs in the San Francisco bullpen. Kevin Bass was nowhere to be found, but Basser was. There wasn't a Bobby Ojeda, but there was an Oleda pitcher for Los Angeles. Playing rightfield is Raspberry ... where's Darryl Strawberry?

Then, there are a few bars of the national anthem with two generic but patriotic players who look strangely like Wade Boggs and Dwight Evans placing their caps over their hearts. Finally, game action, which is just as cheesy as everything else I described, begins.

Thankfully, when you were at your wits' end, Clemens himself would pop in for some "Rocket Talk" to help you win the game.

I couldn't find a screen grab that says, "When you're old and washed up, turn to performance-enhancing drugs."

I don't play many video games anymore, but when I do, my tastes are a little more sophisticated.

[Image: Moby Games]