We're going to pump [clap] you up!

The last time I wrote about the stuff I found in my parents' attic, I poked fun at the Phillies marketing in the 1990s. The Red Sox also had a gimmick I'm sure they'd like to forget. It's plastered all over the team's 1995 yearbook, which prominently features Mo Vaughn and Jose Canseco wearing wife beaters. The inside cover has the two sluggers back-to-back, flexing their 24-inch pythons like the Hulkster with the inspirational words "get pumped for '95" above them.


This was three years before the synthetic home run chase between Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa; six years before Barry Bonds took cheating to another low; and more than a decade before George Mitchell would name names. But I'm still surprised they had the restraint not to do a cross-promotion between these two pure & natural! hitters and this product advertisement found a few pages later:


Roger Clemens was on that squad, too. I bet the team asked him to break out a Speedo and pose with Deb, to which he just stared back, real menacing. I'm sure in his world, the meaner you look, the more innocent you are.


These pictures ruin some of the memories of a great year in which the Sox surprisingly won the division. It was a nice blend of veterans, cast-offs and a few homegrown stars. Tim Wakefield, plucked off the scrap heap, won 16 games, starting a long tenure for a classy Red Sox champion. Mo won the MVP, although many thought either teammate John Valentin or Cleveland's Albert Belle was more deserving. And midseason acquisition Rick Aguilera saved 20 games down the stretch.

It wasn't a great team and probably deserved getting swept by Cleveland, but it was more fun then, knowing what we know now about these players.

Over the weekend, I’ll post some more gems from the yearbook.

Something I never knew before: While refreshing my '95 memories, I took a look at the Sox draft picks that year. In a late round, they took a flier on some high school kid from California whom they probably know wouldn't sign because he was headed to the University of Miami. The players? Pat Burrell, who would be selected No. 1 by the Phillies in 1998 as atonement for J.D. Drew, who now patrols RF for the Red Sox.

Can you imagine if Burrell had signed with the Sox? Would that mean no Manny Ramirez and no championships? Or would it mean that he would have stayed at first and replaced Mo? Either way, I'm sure the Fenway Faithful (what happened to that term? Oh yeah, pink hats and Red Sox Nation) would have welcomed him just as well as Phillies fans did earlier in his career.

Administrative notes: Remember the Doug Glanville jerseys we spotted last month? They made straightcashhomey.net. Thanks for posting it, guys. ... There probably won't be an update tonight as the Phillies wrap up their set with the Braves and the Red Sox get a break in the schedule against the Yankees. We have family in town for the holiday.

One gimmicky series down, one to go

Wow. How has this not come up before? The New York Times reports that when the Red Sox play the Dodgers in the Los Angeles Coliseum on Saturday, they will be playing with left field dimensions that will make Fenway Park look like a cookie-cutter stadium.

Because of the football dimensions, a 60-foot fence (made of netting) will be placed 200 feet from home plate for the exhibition. Turns out they have done it before - in the 1959 World Series, as shown in this photo.

Juan Pierre is scared:

I’ll be like 180 feet from the hitters, and those Boston guys hit the ball pretty hard. I might have to wear a cup.

Don't worry about Manny Ramirez; he'll probably bounce one off the net in the first inning and still be standing at home watching it when it's time for him to take the field.

Too bad that game won't be on ESPN. I'd wake up at 6 a.m. for that one. Speaking of which, how is it possible that today's game started at 6 a.m. and I was able to leave for work on time? If it were a postseason game or any Yankees game, it would have still been in the fourth inning at 9 a.m.

Bummer of a game. I don't mind the loss, just wish Jon Lester pitched better. David Aardsma looked good.

A real interesting thing happened when Gary Thorne and Steve Phillips discussed Jose Canseco's hatred of Alex Rodriguez. (Hope you read the excerpt before Deadspin had to yank it.) Thorne said, "There will be some real interesting throws from third to first in the Bronx this year." I was tired and had no clue what he was saying until he then referred to Canseco as Jason Giambi. I know all drugged up A's-turned-Yankees look alike. But one is still playing and the other is a Surreal Life alum.

What do you expect from Gary Thorne, who last year "misunderstood" a conversation with Doug Mirabelli and said Curt Schilling faked the bloody sock?

Antiquated Red Sox garb III

Next up in my occasional series is one you've already seen. It's an oldie but goodie: Maurice Vaughn.

I got this shirt in the mid-1990s at Fenway. While waiting in line, I almost changed my mind to a Jose Canseco model (I think he had a big game or something). I got some good, surprisingly sincere advice from a Yankees fan who said I should stick with Mo because he'd stick around longer; Canseco was just a mercenary.

I think about that when I wear my faded blue shirt with crumbling letters and No. 42.

Mo was back in the news this week. (The first time since the Mitchell report.) Congrats, I guess, though I don't understand why the Sox would induct a roider this year, even though he didn't start using until after he left the Sox. Ironic, though, that joining him in the Red Sox Hall of Fame is Mike Greenwell, who pointed out years ago that he should be declared the 1988 MVP since Canseco admitted using steroids.

Glad to see Bill Lee inducted too. What took so long?